NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Saturday, October 21, 2017

STUPID HEADLINES 102217

STUPID HEADLINES 102217
Government at it's best
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
______________________
NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch forced to move due to 'repeated threats from gun control advocates' – NRA spokesperson is in favor of gun control for gun control advocates.
Intoxicated United Airlines passenger peed on seatmate mid-flight, lawsuit claims – Oh man! I get angry when the a-hole behind me bumps my seat.
Boxer Mikaela Lauren Kisses Opponent Cecilia Braekhus During Stare-down – I don’t think this would have worked with Mike Tyson.
Woman Sues Background Check Site After Husband Uses Site To Catch Her Cheating – Can a bank robber sue the camera company for filming his robbery?
Accused cop killer defecates, smears feces on face in courtroom – Is the shit-faced defense the same as insanity?
American Airlines agent says curling 'isn't a sport,' passenger claims – I actually enjoy watching curling in the Olympics, but in defense of American Airlines, does any event that requires a broom really qualify as a sport?

Paul Ryan roasts Trump at charity dinnerWho doesn’t like a good Trump Roast for dinner?

Oklahoma inmate suffered from 91-hour erection, lawsuit claims – He suffered because it was wasted in jail!
Harvey Weinstein gives middle finger before heading to rehab – And people say this big fat butt-ugly turd has no class.
Homecoming Queen Claire Jeffress Hits Game-Winning Field Goal – What is this world coming to?  Next thing you know an Olympic Decathlon champion will get a sex change…WHAT? Anyway, congratulations Claire, well done!
AND THIS WEEK’S FEEL-GOOD STORY:
Nurse fleeing California wildfires puts horse in car – Nothing feel-good about these fires, but this did put a smile on my face.
ONE MORE
Hero groom saves boy from drowning; wedding photographer captures it all on camera
*For those who have an issue with the links, just Google the Headline.
___________________________________
Come Back Next Week For More
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

Friday, October 20, 2017

Tee Shirt Tag

Tee Shirt Tag
A cranky opinion for
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
The following is the opinion of a cranky old man who is an expert on a subject which virtually no one else will give a crap.   Opposing opinions are welcome but they are wrong.  As always, please, no name calling, that means you, you big stupid head…and for crap sake this opinion is about tee shirts, any asshole who can manage a negative President Trump comment on this post will have said comment deleted and will be banned from commenting for one week…no, make that two weeks.
I miss those tags that used to be in tee shirts.   I know, “they’re itchy” (read that as a whine) …Yeah, there itchy, if you’re three years old.  They never bothered me.  They are important because they tell you which way to put on the shirt. 
As I was told in no uncertain terms by my friend Frog’s two-year-old Andrew many years ago when I put on a shirt and it just didn’t feel right,
“Tag goes in the back!”
“Why thank you two-year-old Andrew.”
Yes, the tag goes in the back, but these days there is no tag because some group of wimps complained,
“It’s itchy!” (read that as a whine)
So now tee shirts have a label stamped on them to let you know which side goes in the back.
Except.
The friggin stamp is unreadable after two times in the wash.  Every friggin tee shirt in my drawer has an invisible stamp on it.  Oh, if you squint real hard and put it under a light you might see the label, but that is such a pain that I just guess.
When you just guess you are subject to the 50/50/90 rule.
“If you have to make a decision where you have a 50% chance of being right, you will be wrong 90% of the time.”
And, the 10% when you are right, the shirt may feel a little off so you switch it around only to find you guessed correctly the first time.
I am begging you tee shirt makers who ever you are, PUT THE TAG BACK.
Please, as two-year-old Andrew said a bunch of years ago, “The tag goes in the back!”
The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky, who I’m pretty sure could not give a rat’s backside about this stupid opinion.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

A Big Scare


A Big Scare




I had a big scare the other night.  I had a dream, or actually a nightmare.  I was wandering around the city looking for my mom’s apartment.  My mom has not been with us for years, she never had an apartment.  A stranger sidetracked me somehow and had me head off in the wrong direction.

I was aimlessly walking around in an area of town I did not know.  I asked a stranger for directions.  The stranger ignored me, then another stranger ignored me.  Finally, a friendly stranger, a black man as I recall for some reason, directed me to the subway and pointed to the train I should take. 

At this point I had forgotten where I wanted to go.  I was completely lost and just stumbling around.  I had a cell phone to call my son, but did not remember his number, I wasn’t even sure of his name. 

Then I awoke.

Crap!  So that is what it is like to have dementia.  Wandering around knowing you should know where to go, what to do, or who to call, but not knowing or remembering anything.  Dependent on the kindness of strangers when most strangers do not have the time to be kind.

As we get older, I think we all worry about dementia.  We don’t remember names of entertainers that we just saw.  We forget where we put something or even what we are looking for.  You have a word in your head to describe something, but you cannot find it right away.  Truth is, many of these things have always happened to me, these days they just worry me more.

The dream was scary.  Losing one’s memory is scary.

On the plus side, I never remember dreams.  As soon as I wake up I forget what I was dreaming about.  This dream I remember vividly.

So, there’s that.


Interesting site for us old people concerned about this subject: