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Sunday, June 25, 2017

Stupid Headline 062517

Stupid Headline 062517
It’s time again for
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
Man gets $870G after doctor removes wrong testicle – A lot of dudes would give their left nut for that much money.
Pennsylvania alarm clock stuck in wall for 13 years goes off every day – Dang, those Pennsylvania clocks have good batteries.
Would-be burglar beaten by resident – Just because the home owner beat the crap out of him does not make him a “would-be burglar,” he is still a burglar, just not a very good one.
We live in a cosmic Void, another study confirms – I know that people in New Jersey drive like they are in a cosmic void.
Colorado teachers are being armed with guns – Just the threat of detention used to be enough when I was a kid.
George Clooney is selling his tequila brand for up to $1 billion – Money, looks, fame, beautiful intelligent wife, twins, and now this!  Can this SOB let go of just a little karma for the rest of us?
Man caught urinating near LA train station found to have cache of weapons – When caught he was mumbling “This is my rifle, this is my gun…”
North Korea calls Trump a 'psychopath,' warns South Korea against following White House – The NoKo leader than spun on the floor in a circle and demanded “Mo, Larry, the cheese!” Nuck, nuck, nuck.
If You’re White and Have Opinions, You’re Now Guilty of ‘Whitesplaining’ – Then I shall keep my opinion of this to my own white self.
Ham Sandwiches Deemed ‘Racist’ By Group, Could Be Banned – In other news, waking up in the morning if you are white is racist.
Porn actress claims Christian school fired her from teaching job because of her sex films – Well…yeah!
This week’s feel-good story:
Miracle Dog Honored for Bringing Owner Out of ComaWhat can I say, I’m a sucker for a good dog story.
Come back again next week for more

Friday, June 23, 2017

Other Way

Other Way

My Dad was a big believer in having his children help out around the house.  We had chores, not many, truth be told, but I did a lot of yard work, and we all always set and cleared the table along with doing an occasional dish.  What I disliked the most was helping Dad when he was working on a project.

“I’m building a cabinet Joe, come help me in the basement.”

Oh I hated hearing that.  I did learn a lot helping pop, but generally helping meant watching him and being at the ready to fetch a tool or hold something steady.  He probably would have let me do more, but I was and am still incompetent with carpentry, plumbing and electrical stuff.

I think my incompetence frustrated him, and his watching me mess up frustrated me.

The thing that stands out to me the most, was my inability to loosen or tighten a screw or nut, or drill a hole.  I think my problem is I am left- handed and have trouble using a right-handed screwdriver or wrench or drill.

“Clockwise to tighten, counter to loosen.”

Yeah, I know but for some reason I have trouble visualizing the clock.  “Righty tighty, lefty loosey.” 

I know, I know, but I still have to stop and think.  Instead of stopping and thinking, it is always faster for me to just turn.

If I turn the wrong way to loosen it is usually immediately apparent and I know to turn the other way…hey, it works for me.  Except that when working with Pop, he would be watching over my shoulder. 

As soon as I turned the screwdriver (almost always the wrong way because of the 50/50/90 rule*) Pop would instruct me,

“Other way!”

When I turned a wrench to tighten a nut,

“Other way!”

Drill a hole, and push the drill button to the right,

“Other way!”

I know this frustrated him as it should be so simple to learn.  What can I tell you, I am mechanically dyslexic.  

Even today, years after Dad has passed, when I turn a screw, work a wrench or drill a hole, I have the same pattern.  Just turn and then adjust if it is not working, and when the screw does not go in, the nut will not loosen, or the drill starts to smoke, I hear a voice in my head.

“Other way!”

*The 50/50/90 rule states that “Any time you need to make a decision where you have a 50/50 chance of making the correct decision, you will be wrong 90% of the time.”

A note on my previous post about a GPS golf gadget that was defective.  I ran the battery to zip, recharged it, and it was an effective reboot.  It now is finding GPS signals again.  

Thursday, June 22, 2017

My Problem With Dicks

My Problem With Dicks

Dick's the sporting goods store that is; I figure the title will get this blog some new visitors.

Last year I purchased a golf GPS gadget.  This gadget tells you how far you are from any hole on any golf course in the country.  It also allows you to measure the distance of any shot.  This information is very helpful when playing a round of golf.

I used it twice, and then somehow, I lost it.  I turned the house upside down but I could not find it.  I reluctantly bought a new one at Dick’s last August.  I bought one in a weird ugly green instead of black so it would be harder to lose. 

It worked fine the few times I played at the end of last year.  In the winter, I found the old GPS gadget.  It was outside, apparently it fell off my golf bag, under a bush.  It had been rained on, snowed on, and endured periods of heat and extreme cold.  It still worked.

Now I have two GPS gadgets, which is fine as sometimes the battery runs down when I need it, so a backup is nice, or I can loan it to another golf buddy.

I used the new GPS gadget last week, it worked fine.  Yesterday it was not working.  It searched for a GPS signal, but would never find it.  Everything else on the gadget worked, but without a GPS signal it was worthless.  I mean it gives me the time and date, but I get that on multiple other sources.

I took the gadget back to Dick’s to see if they would replace it as it was less than a year old and clearly defective.  I’m pretty sure they could send it back to the manufacturer and get their money back.  It is defective, and there is no way for the manufacturer to know when it was sold.  I doubt the manufacturer would argue with Dick’s, one of their biggest retailors.

Dick’s told me that they could not help me unless I had only bought the GPS gadget within six months.  What crap.  I bought it in August, but the only months to play golf in this area (except for some fanatics) would be August, September, October (maybe) April and then May.  I have not had six months use of the gadget. 

It is not that Dick’s could not help me, it is Dick’s won’t help me.  They suggested I contact the manufacturer.  Somehow I think I might have less clout then Dick’s Sporting Store.

Anyway, I still have one toy, I don’t really need a backup.  I’m going to run the battery down on the defective one, maybe it will reset and work again.

I’m not happy, but I’m sure I will get over it and go back to Dick’s again.