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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

THE HAIR


THE HAIR

I am not as a rule a stubborn man.  There are times when a situation presents itself that is so bizarre I just have to figure it out.  Last night a hair in the sink was one of those situations.

We recently upgraded our master bathroom.  I am proud of our new sink.  The old one had chips and was in general, even after a thorough cleaning, disgusting.

Last night, before going to bed, after brushing my teeth and rinsing, there remained in my new pristine sink, a hair.  It was not a big hair.  It was just a little bigger than eye lash.  I could have flicked the hair off the sink and sent it down the drain, but for some reason I just dumped a cup of water on it.

The hair fluttered under the flow of water.  It waved back and forth, but the tiny very tip of the hair was somehow firmly attached to the sink.  Once again, I could have flicked the hair away with my finger, but this is where I became stubborn.  I could not believe the hair could hold tight to the sink and no, it was not glued by a small gob of toothpaste, the sink was clean.

I heaved another cup of water on the hair.  Again it waved at me but did not release its magic grip.  I took a mouthful of water and spit with power-wash velocity at the hair.  It did not budge.  I took a cup of water and dropped it from great height upon the hair.  It flapped in the stream like a flag in the wind but did not come loose.

Now I was determined.  I took a cup of water and slammed it hard at the hair again and again.  Nothing.  I filled the sink with hot water and then pulled the plug.  The water drained in a speedy whirlpool and the hair did not give in.  I squirted liquid soap on the hair and doused it with scalding water.  The tiny hair hung tight. 

There was now water all over the counter and some on the floor.

“Joe, what the hell are you doing in there?”

“Nothing, be right in.”

“Nothing?  You are making a racket and I hear splashing.  What the hell”

“It’s just a hair in the sink; it won’t go down the drain.”

“A hair? Just push it in, pick it up, grab a square of toilet paper and wipe it up.  Is that so hard for Christmas sake?”

“It’s just that I can’t believe it will not wash away.  I’ve never seen a hair in the sink that would not just wash away.”

“Why are you being such a jerk?”

“But you should see this hair, it’s like that friggin “Unbreakable” guy in the movie!”

“Just pick it up, throw it out, and come to bed!”

I figured maybe I was being a jerk.  I wiped down the counter and the floor, took a TP square, swept up the hair, and flushed it down the toilet. 

I flushed twice.

25 comments:

  1. If you look real hard in your toilet bowl, you'll probably find.... :)

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  2. Ha ha ha ha ha!! This is great - love your determination!

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  3. LOL with the flushing twice :) That was one determined piece of hair!

    betty

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  4. oh, my. glad you're not in a drought!

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  5. I think you'll see that hair again. It's indestructible.

    So this is your playtime before bed. You need to rethink this one. Bwahahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

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  6. I see the potential plot for a movie here... possibly starring Rowan Atkinson?

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  7. It came from the hairball in your trap. More on the way.

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  8. Congratulations! You are now qualified to command the USS Caine.

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  9. I'm impressed with your determination - I think Mrs C is probably right but you're a determined jerk.

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  10. I understand. When vacuuming and something resists being picked up, I will pick it up but immediately drop it and give the vacuum another shot. We want things to respond to normal methods and in fact will insist that they do. I think however, lowandslow may be on to something. I'd check the bowl closely.

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  11. Hi Crankyman,

    Ah yes, the indestructible hair! We have cats and our house is full of them - hairs that refuse to be budged by the vacuum cleaner, hairs that appear in the sink and hairs that cling to the television.

    Where do they come from?

    :o)

    Cheers

    PM

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  12. Proof that a good writer can create something from the most unpromising material. I know a few men who'd wish hair had clung to their heads with the same tenacity has that hair tormenting you.

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  13. Yes, what Stephen said about your writing creativity. Blog fodder and evil hair can be found everywhere.

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  14. So...what color would you like your straight jacket?

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  15. Good to know that hair was only in your sink, and not on a cinnamon babka.

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  16. You wasted all that water and effort on a single hair?
    You're a jerk.

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  17. You've got me laughing.. I've done similar. Stubbornness is not always such a fine trait but yours sure gives you fodder for a very funny post.

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  18. Good one, Joe! I'm impressed with your determination - can't imagine your tenacity on something really important.

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  19. Came from Hilary's. Very nice bit of writing.

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  20. Wow- man vs hair..I am glad you won and I seriously hope that hair is not stuck on your mirror tomorrow.....taunting you. LOL This reminds me of me, picking up a piece of whatever on the carpet and moving it because the vacumn won't suck it up..I will do it again and again until it finally works instead of picking it up and throwing it in the trash can.

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  21. Here from Hilary's POTW.

    I got a very good visual from this, and she's right. It's funny!

    Btw, Why are strands of hair so disgusting when not attached to our heads?

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